A few weeks ago my fiancée and I became… well, fiancée and fiancé and we started our “Countdown to Married.” Usually you don’t start a countdown until you’re really close to the launch, and we are! We picked a date in October of 2015. So, we gave ourselves a 3 month timeframe to plan and prepare for the wedding day. It seems crazy to most of the people around us, but since we have been planning on getting married for so long that it doesn’t seem that crazy to us to plan the actual wedding event in such a short period of time.
One thing I have noticed is that from the beginning of our engagement we have been doing things together. I mean doing things as a couple, like walking through target with a scanner “booping” things into our registry of course, but also with our friends and family. When my fiancée went to try on dresses she brought my mother, her mother, her best friend, and my sister. We decided to use family rings as well so she and I were having heartfelt conversations with her grandma and my grandma and grandpa. We were having lunches and hearing them tell stories of their own lives and loves. We learned about people we have never met, but who wore rings that we would wear forever.
It is easy to get frustrated in this process. Sometimes you feel like you’re counting on people who aren’t concerned enough about timeframes, details, and things like that. But, counting on others is what this is all about and the people you have to count on and the people that you choose to count on are concerned about one important thing and that is you. They aren’t perfect, but neither are you. If they weren’t a part of the process there would be no point in having a ceremony, because it would be meaningless.
This isn’t a one day party. This is a moment of transformation, fulfillment, and overflowing connectedness. People need to prepare for these types of moments together. Your lady needs to chat with her girlfriends and try on dresses. They need to ask you about colors and things. (And when you don’t have an opinion about something she needs to hear you say that the most important detail is you and her being together forever). Your man needs to BS with his buddies and hear the secrets the married ones have to share and the hopes the single ones disclose. You both need it and everyone around you needs it in order to process, prepare, understand, and then celebrate together on your wedding day.